jizzle (gness) wrote,

the end

ZakuroJames Bond
5:38 PM
To: justine never knew the ru...

i dont have

1 Read: Zakuro
justin… Online Now!
5:41 PM
To: Zakuro


that didn't make any sense. frustrated i sent another.

4:50 PM
To: Zakuro

you've ruined so many things for me. hurt me in so many ways. made me cry on endless occasions. my dreams have been shattered. my relationships have been strained. my work has suffered. my heart has been broken. my hope is nearly gone. the little bit that's left is all i have to try and turn this around.
you know, ignoring your problems doesn't make them go away. it brings me no pleasure to have to beg you to answer me, trust me. it's no picnic contacting someone you want to hate more than anything.
you may not understand, nor does anyone else understand why but i have to have the answers. i couldn't live with myself if i ever let someone else hurt me the way you did. i'll never be able to trust anyone until i know what was true and what wasn't.
i should have listened to you when you told me you were a bad person. that's all i know to be true at this moment.
we all have the power to change. please just answer me. do the right thing for once. answer the questions.

James Bond
5:40 PM
To: justine never knew the ru...

then i was a bad person like a told you and everything was a lie. hopefully that will make things a little easier.
there, satisfied?

Online Now!
5:44 PM
To: Zakuro

stop trying to take the easy way out.
why did you lie to me?
why did you use me?
why did you cheat on me?
why did you tell me you loved me when you didn't?
what did i do to deserve any of this?
what did i do wrong?

6:01 PM
To: justine never knew the ru...

the easy way out ould be just blocking you and ignoring you

Online Now!
6:10 PM
To: Zakuro

please james just answer the questions. you know the answers. i need to know.

6:15 PM
To: justine never knew the ru...

didnt lie.
didnt use you.
because we werent even official when that happened and me and alex have a history and deep feelings for each other.
I dont know, mixed feelings i got confused.
thats a bs emo question that im not answering cause there isnt one.
you wouldnt stay out of my personal fucking bussiness and give me my space.
are we done now, is that good enough?

so he owned up to cheating on me. though he worded it retardedly. i sent this:

6:22 PM
To: Zakuro

when did it happen? was it only with alex?

he hasn't read that. i doubt he'd ever respond. point is i know he cheated. he's a douchebag. so i sent this.

1 Unread: Zakuro
justin… Online Now!
12/29/2009 9:02 PM
To: Zakuro

you lied about so much it makes me sick to my stomach. i don't think you can even tell the truth from the lies anymore.
you used me until you knew you couldn't anymore. just like everyone said you kept me hanging on as a fall back because you knew i'd be there.
all you ever had to say was that there was someone else you wanted to be with. instead you choose to lie and go behind my back and be with other people. officially broken up or not we still had something going on for a while afterward. that doesn't make it any less wrong on your account. doesn't make you any less of a scumbag. now i have to waste my time and money going to the fucking doctors to make sure you didn't give me any fucking diseases.
thank you for finally admitting that you never loved me. i appreciate the one ounce of truth you can muster up. maybe now if anyone ever says it again i'll know they're lying through their teeth, if they're crying like a little bitch.
if i didn't do anything to deserve this then i guess you really are just satan. heh.
i'm sorry that i wouldn't stay out of your "personal fucking business" and give you your space. let me tell you a little something about that.
you told me that your mother may have cancer again. i'm fucking sorry that i wanted to be there for you and help you through this. you told me that your friends don't even ask how you're doing and you'd probably end up drinking yourself to death. sorry that i'm a compassionate and understanding person who doesn't want to see someone she cares about go through that alone. sorry i'm not cool enough to hand you a bottle and not care about how your day was.
then again, that whole thing was probably just another one of your lies and, the most pathetic one i might add. truth or lie, it doesn't really matter, using that scenario whether it be to get pity or as an excuse for your behavior is disgusting. i bet she'd be ashamed of you if she knew.
i gave you plenty of space. you live in another town and don't even have a fucking phone. you need communication in order to be a part of someone's space. with that said, you told me that i was special and important to you. you told me that i was the first person you called everyday. you told me that you had all the same feelings for me. you told me you'd tell me when things changed and you didn't. you just ignored me and i guess just hoped that i'd disappear. don't worry; you've finally gotten your wish.
why is it that when i told you i'd wait for you, i wasn't interested in anyone else and you didn't have to worry about me fooling around with anyone, it was okay with you? then you told me basically the same thing. you told me i didn't have to worry because you wouldn't fool around with other girls, you weren't even interested in other girls and if you did become interested, you'd tell me. why? because you're a fucking liar. it's okay for you to go off and fuck whomever you have "deep feelings for" but i can sit home and hold on until there's nothing left to hold on to? god, you're an asshole.
when someone's life is falling apart those who try to help pick up the pieces aren't in the wrong. your answers to my questions are bullshit and as false as most have anticipated. but they'll have to do. i know what i needed to know. i'll never again make excuses for you. i will never forgive you.
i really do hope that you grow up and stop hurting people. the lengths that you would go to just to hurt someone for your own benefit are repulsive. i wish i never met you. i'm ashamed that i was ever with you. and i'm so very glad i never loved you.
you don't have to worry about anymore messages from me. i'm done. you can deny that facebook request. i'd do it myself but i can't and believe me, i've tried. i do not want to be your friend or even associated with you in any way. i want absolutely nothing to do with you ever again.

so now i don't even care if he responds. i hope he reads it and realizes what an asshole he's been but i doubt he'll ever change. he's a good looking douchebag who is out to get what he wants no matter who he hurts. he can claim all the pain in the world and use it as an excuse but it won't work on me anymore. i'm done.
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